Monthly Archives: February 2013

Age Appropriate

The other day I read a post at ThaiVisa.com about the arrest of a Thai male accused of pimping underage boys to westerners. The discussion that followed was typical for this topic, with everyone unanimously condemning those western perverts that travel to economically depressed countries and take advantage of young boys and girls. Of course, you will find me right there waving the same banner, along with the majority of those outsiders that live in or visit Thailand.

The thing that annoys me about these discussions, and I’ve seen many over the years, is the focus is always on the westerners’ conduct. Truth be known, they are in the minority and are taking advantage of a culture that doesn’t hold to a high standard what is age appropriate. Thailand attempts to present an image that they are concerned about the problem and taking proactive steps to eliminate it. But the vast majority of their actions have been focused on the inappropriate conduct of outsiders.

While there’s clearly a double standard being imposed it is understandable the focus is being placed on those that are causing a spot light to be shown. Without the westerners’ involvement it’s unlikely much, if any, outcry would be heard from the global community. On top of that, the practice, particularly among the lower classes, is so commonplace it would be very difficult for authorities to put much of a dent in it, assuming they even wanted to.

I do understand the obvious monetary advantages in targeting outsiders, but I really doubt that is the driving force behind this dual standard. I’d say it’s more of a perk. This culture thrives on appearances and deniability, so if they can push back on those that are creating the embarrassment the rest can be ignored. After-all, trying to turn around a cultural attitude that’s been in place for hundreds of years isn’t likely to be at the top of anyone’s list of priorities.

For those who are in disbelief, I would suggest you only need to open your eyes and look around, because it’s not all that difficult to spot, provided you mix with the lower class Thais. That said, I missed it once, that I am aware of. It was going on right in front of me, but I wasn’t paying attention. A farang friend of mine pointed it out and before the evening was over got verbal confirmation from a Thai. The situation involved a 14 year old boy working in a restaurant next door to a host bar. My friend told me every boy working in the host bar had already played with him. Sure enough, it didn’t take long for me to observe the conduct between him and the older boys was clearly that of a sexual nature. When one of the older boys was asked he candidly confirmed that our observations were absolutely correct.

All the stories I’ve been told over the years aside, I’ve had plenty of experiences that confirm a very large percentage of the lower class population pay little or no attention to what is age appropriate behavior. One example that comes to mind is when a boy in his twenties candidly shared with me that his preference was to fuck 12 year old boys, because their asses are tighter. On another occasion I watched a couple of door men fondle a 3 year old right after his mother had finished bathing him on the street outside their go go bar. Right out in the open, with everyone watching, and nobody even blinked.

It is not for me to judge the conduct of another culture. My only interest in sharing this with you is to point out that things are not always as they appear, in the land of denials.

Categories: Culture, Denials, Society | Leave a comment

Taking Kathoey Girlfriends

In an earlier post I talked about Thai sexuality and the fact that kathoeys are considered a third sex, or woman of another kind. Recently a friend explained that, in rural Thailand, it is quite common for a “straight” male to take a kathoey girlfriend until he meets and marries a girl that will be the mother of his children. I was told this is a completely acceptable practice. These relationships are openly visible to everyone in the village and no one gives it a second thought.

Shortly after learning about this I traveled to a remote farming village in northwest Thailand. During my stay I was invited on an afternoon outing to visit the nearby waterfalls. The group consisted of family and friends of all ages. In the mix was one young couple that at first glance looked like a typical boyfriend/girlfriend in their early twenties. However, it didn’t take long for me to realize the girl was actually kathoey.

It was refreshing to actually see this cute couple enjoying each other’s company, but a little sad at the same time. The kathoey knows her days are numbered with this young man, as he will eventually take a wife and raise a family. But Thais live in the moment and at this point in her life, all is good.

The practice of taking a kathoey girlfriend is most likely rooted in practicality. Young couples caught having sex, out of wedlock, are often forced by their families to marry. For many, marriage wasn’t part of the plan when they decided against taking a cold shower. Perhaps more accurate is the young and horny male ends up with more than he bargained for and wishes he’d kept his dick in his pants. Thus, having the option to work out one’s sexual energies without fear of any life-long penalties can be a very attractive alternative.

I do have to ponder what actually goes on behind closed doors, as a large percentage of kathoeys are tops. It’s a question that is sure to go unanswered, in the land of denials.

Categories: Culture, Society | Leave a comment

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